There is a person in my life who has been there for well over 58 years, a span that extends back for nearly as long as I can remember. Apart from my wife, mother, and two children, he would have to rank as my best and most enduring friend. I came from a close-knit clan of siblings that consisted of two girls (deceased) and nine boys. In our upbringing in New Town, we were one for one and all for all who did nearly everything together. We slept in the same room, which contained two beds that somehow accommodated all the boys. We worked together in our father’s crew of bricklayers and laborers during the summertime and nearly every Saturday throughout the year when the weather permitted. We played football together on the same Gordon High School Trojans team. As a matter of historical record, there were four of us on the same team from 1967-1970. However, as close as I was and am to my brothers, my best and most enduring friend is not in the rank of this band of brothers (who that I will devote an entire column to at a future date).
I once read or heard spoken one day that if a person can have one true friend in his entire life then he should consider himself most fortunate and rich. Now, there are different levels of friendship and seasons of intimacy. Some people who we classify as friends are in actuality acquaintances. We become familiar with them in various settings and seasons like the workplace, church, sporting events, and etc. You share a common bond and interest at a particular place or event, but that is as far as the relationship goes. A person like that cannot be put into the category of being a true friend. Then there are social friends with whom we enjoy hanging out or partying with. We relish and enjoy the things we do together, the fun times, but like the previous acquaintances, our relationship does not meet the standard of true friendship.
Description of a
True Friend
In my experience, observation, and study on the subject of true friendship and of what it consists of, I have been able to identify three unique qualities that reside in people who are true friends. Definitely there are other traits that could be considered and these are by no means the only ones on the matter. To be perfectly honest with you, each of them has been gleaned from the Bible which I believe to be the Supreme definitive and infallible authority on all issues of life.
“ A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24)
There are two qualities of true friendship that are contained in the previous passage that I will briefly cite and comment. First, one who is a true friend proves himself to be friendly or a friend. His friendship is not suspect or dubious, but genuine and practical. You can depend on such a person when the chips are down and your back is against the wall. Second, a true friend will stick closer than a brother. He will always be there giving you support and encouragement even when one who is a blood brother will not.
“A friend loves at all times…” (Proverbs 17:17a)
This third and final attribute of true friendship is undoubtedly the greatest and most compelling. One who is a true friend will love you at all times, unconditionally and even sacrificially. Their love for you is never based upon how rich, popular, or smart you are. It is not a matter of external or tangible things; it is a matter of the heart. Regardless of your mistakes, flaws, or idiosyncrasies, they love you just the same. Though they will not always agree with you, they will never allow an issue or bone of contention to make them disagreeable to you. Perhaps these words of David at receiving the disturbing news of the sudden and tragic death of his best friend, Jonathan, whose soul was knitted to his, captures and expresses the point I am attempting to make much better than I could ever hope to: “I am distressed for thee my brother Johnathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:26).
My Friend Forever
At the very beginning I made mention of a person who has been my closest and most enduring friend for 58 years. In all these decades, I can think of only once when he was angry or upset with me. It was all my fault. He became that way for only a brief season because I broke my promise to him to give him my sheet of insects that had been gathered and labored for Mrs. Rosanna King’s biology class. We were in the 10th grade at Gordon High School. Instead of giving them to him as I had promised, I allowed another acquaintance, who I thought to be a special friend at that time, to talk me into giving them to him. His anger did not last long and he soon got over it. All of the attributes of what a true friend really is has been demonstrated by my forever friend. He has always been there for me in an encouraging and supportive way. Never once has he betrayed my trust or exploited our friendship to his advantage or for selfish gain. In all honesty, I owe a great debt of gratitude to him and his deceased mother, who would always allow me to come over and share some new poem, literary work, or idea that was spinning around in my head endeavoring to be birthed or expressed. He, of all the people, was the encourager who always gave ear and attention to what I felt compelled to write and say during those formative years. Even when those things did not make sense, as much of it did not. He did not reject or criticize me. He saw potential and gave me the much needed affirmation and sunshine to keep me pressing on through the distractions and darkness of those days. Little wonder after all these years, he is still one of the first people I go to when I have finished a literary project. It has worked for all these years, and I dare not stop it now. I value his critiquing and estimation as much as I ever have. There are of course others that I enlist in the process of editing that are imminently more qualified in grammar and proficiency. However, none is more qualified through their love, bond, and history with me than my most enduring friend. Thank you, Fred Martin, Jr. (Punichee) for being a true friend all these years. You have stuck closer than a brother. One of the reasons I am abundantly wealthy is because of your enriching friendship. You have been a confidant, a comrade, and a friend.
I wish that every person had at least one friend like you. Your friendship to me over these many years has been both priceless and precious. The Lord could not have favored me with a more faithful friend than you. Your enduring friendship has been one of the surest signs that the Lord has been on my side.
