Certainly, everyone of us living and breathing (to some extent) belong to the category of people who have some degree of remorse for some past misdeeds that we either perpetrated or to which we were an accomplice. Whether these bad decisions and acts were committed against family members, friends, mentors, neighbors, or even animals, we live with remorse over these dastardly and often detrimental acts that we wish we had never done. There are, of course, certain personal and private things that if shared in a public medium would have grave consequences and hurt to certain people. Such things are best to be left in the closet of concealment to protect the innocent. I will present these things that I wish I had never done in the importance of their enduring effect on me beginning with the least and ending with the greatest.
The Horrendous and Inhumane Killing of a Dog
Though the incident I am about to share with you happened when I was around twelve years old, it still troubles me when I think about it. On Lucius Road (the street that I was raised on when I was growing up in Newtown), people would often drop off unwanted dogs, due to the fact that this street ran from Mullins Highway all the way to an area where there was nothing but fields and a wooded area. Many of these unwanted dogs would seek to find habitation at a few of the houses where people lived. Occasionally, families would receive them as pets. However, there were times when these unwanted and stray animals would be unwelcomed and treated very brutally. A dog showed up at one of the homes of a family who lived on the street. Immediately, the mother did everything she could to make the dog leave the house, but he would not. Drastic measures were taken and the dog was captured by her sons and one of their friends and taken about two or so miles down Lucius Road to the non-inhabited and woody area. Ultimately and almost immediately the poor creature came back.
When all efforts failed to keep him from coming back to the house, I came up with an idea that would permanently solve the problem. Once we were able to capture him again, by my leading, we put him in an old sack, beat him with sticks, and took him to a deep canal full of water and threw him in. The poor dog, who was only looking for a new home after being left alone to fend for himself by one inhumane group of people, was brutalized and killed by another in a most horrendous way. Regrettably, I was the inhumane human who came up with the method of execution for this poor creature – drowning in a sack while struggling in vain to escape and live. The memory of this incident, this merciless killing that I wish I had never done, haunted me for years.
No Empathy for
Without any doubt, one of the many things that I wish I had never done took place when I was a pre-teenager and had a cousin who was a few years younger than me. His name was James and he suffered from two very detrimental things ever since he was a young child. First, he was born with a condition (like autism) that we did not understand back then as children. Due to this mental birth defect, James was slow and unable to play and interact with other children in a normal way. It was not his fault, but we did not understand his abnormality.
In our ignorance and unempathetic attitude, we made no allowances for him and his struggle to be accepted and a part of supposedly “normal” behaving children like me, who was acting so callous and abnormal toward him. Sadly, to add insult to injury, James’ father was a cold-hearted child abuser who would often beat and abuse the little fellow for no apparent reason, other than the fact that he despised his son for being born slow and different. I wish that I had never been so unempathetic to little James when we both were boys growing up. If I could turn back the clock and go back to that time, I would be more sensitive and supportive of James.
The Chief Persecutor of a Twelve-Year-Old Preacher
In my estimation, the most regrettable thing that I wish I had never done happened when I was between the ages of thirteen and fourteen years old. One of my younger brothers had been called to be a preacher at the tender age of eleven. It was not a passing fad or an infatuation with him like it had been for a few others, who I knew when I was growing up. My little brother was very serious and sincere about his calling and relationship with God.
In my ignorance and stupidity, I allowed the devil to use me in an unceasing attempt to taunt, criticize, and persecute this young preacher every opportunity I got. I would find fault in him and called him a hypocrite every time he erred or made a mistake.
Perhaps it was because of envy and I was just condemned by my brother’s commitment to God that was greater than mine.
I had been converted and baptized long before him and should have been an example for him of what it meant to be a young Christian.
Ultimately, my younger brother was overwhelmed by my persecution and other temptations and youthful lust that often causes young Christians to backslide.
He backslid and abandoned his call to preach. Thank God that he came back to God in 1976. I was an instrumental part of his restoration because I came back to God in 1974. He is now the founding pastor of a very thriving church and ministry located between Fayetteville and Saint Pauls, North Carolina on Chicken Foot Road.
Thank God that one of the things I wish I had never done when I was growing up was remedied by God and thousands of people have been blessed and set free from bondage as a result.