Enabling behavior occurs when another person, often a codependent, helps or encourages the addict to continue using drugs, either directly or indirectly. Examples of individuals involved in enabling behavior are a spouse hiding the addict’s disease from neighbors or their children by lying for the addict and a so-called “friend” giving the addict money to buy drugs.
• Stop making excuses to others for situations or problems that are caused by the drinking and using of the alcoholic or addict. Do not phone the employer to excuse him/her from work. Do not make up stories to others about why the addict/alcoholic was unable to keep obligations. Refuse to lie.
• If the chemically dependent person makes a mess, such as being physically ill or tearing up the living room, do not clean it up. Allow them to see the damage and result of their actions.
• Do not bail them out of jail.
• Do not pay bills you are not responsible for in areas that do not affect your safety or basic wellbeing. Do not pay for the new TV he/she purchased. Do pay your phone and electric bill.
• Do not continue useless arguments. Go to a movie, take a walk, read a good book, or go to a support group meeting.
• Do not make threats you are not 100% willing to back up with appropriate actions. Example: I’m leaving and you’ll never see me or the kids again!
• If safe and appropriate, discuss your concern with the person in a non-emotional way.
• Find a support system. This may include or be a combination of Al-Anon, a sponsor, codependency treatment, private therapy or counseling, a spiritual advisor or minister, or trustworthy friends.
For more information, please contact Trinity Behavioral Care at423-8292, 774-6591, 479-5683. Trinity Behavioral Care is the local county authority on information, education and treatment services for substance abuse, use and addiction. Our offices are located at 103 Court Street in Marion, 204 Martin Luther King Blvd in Dillon and 1035 Cheraw Street in Bennettsville.
All services are confidential
