I have trouble giving this column a title since its writing brings sadness. My friend has ‘gone’ that is he has died – a word I wish I could avoid. His was not a life-long friend since I only got to know him during the last few months of his long life when he was a resident in a care facility. I met him as a stranger, but he soon became a friend as we shared life experiences some of which were the unnamed subjects of columns I wrote. We did have some things in common such as age and residence even to some extent growing up in a rural/farm environment although by comparison mine were far less challenging than his. But it made him strong and independent, a survivor who made it on his own.
He did not have the advantage of much education so he had to make up for it by learning on the job as he put it. He knew early about the necessary farm chores even as a mere child. He learned to be responsible, to perform his chores without excuse, to begin life not as an innocent boy but as a member of a share cropper family whose skills were necessary for the well being of the family. He missed childhood.
Weekly I would visit with him and usually he was cheerful despite his confinement caused by his health. But generally he was upbeat and showed a sense of humor as we talked about this and that. He was devoutly religious and his speech reflected his understanding of the Book he knew intimately. It guided his life.
Although restricted in his movement, he was blessed with dedicated people who gave him great, loving care making it possible for him to enjoy his last days in relative comfort. Over the period of time he was a resident, he became a ‘family’ member whose life’s joys and sorrows were shared by those responsible for his wellbeing.
Family support is an absolute for one whose time is spent essentially a prisoner of the environment and in this case, he was doubly blessed with members who “paid attention” to his needs and constantly offered moments of family cheer. There were occasions that called for celebrations and despite the difficulty of movement, a way was always found to take him to his favorite outings.
Although the room was hospital friendly; still it lacked the personal touch which was always provided by the family with a variety of cards, photographs, flowers and items that might add to his mental and physical comfort provided by his loving wife and media savvy son.
Although I treasure my visits with all the residents but visiting with him has left a lasting impression on me. Most people reserve the word ‘love’ to apply to family members but there are some exceptions –now gone.
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Bill Lee, PO Box 128,
Hamer, SC 29547
