I remember once reading the description of a lost puppy described as having just one eye, a bad limp and an advanced case of the mange. He went by the name Lucky.
So I am writing about a friend who despite having many valid reasons for NOT being called ‘lucky’ was, in my mind, one of the luckiest people I know notwithstanding his condition.
Consider his situation: he was 93 years old, had stage 4 cancer with little hope for relief, he had fallen and fractured his back and was unable to walk much less take care of his personal needs. He was basically baby-like helpless, demanding the absolute of personal care, that is intensive nursing care. Because of his condition, his doctor logically referred him to institutional care knowing that his demands were far beyond the level of competence of anyone without professional patient care training sadly lacking in his family. Or so he thought.
Initially it was believed by nearly everyone that his referral was the only solution to his end of life care and his being admitted to a skilled care unit was considered a blessing. After all, he was in an experienced, caring environment where expertise in caring for such patients was unmatched. All of his needs were addressed by a caring staff that provided the care that he required and by nearly any standard, it was more than adequate. Except for one person who felt that while his care was sufficient, it was not the loving, personal care that she knew was available.
She, his wife of 67 years, knew of a better solution to her husband’s care. Although not trained in the care needed, she was confident that she, herself, could adequately provide the care that she knew he demanded and certainly deserved. She took him home, considered to be a mistake by many. But she had the one unique requisite no one else had: she loved him dearly.
Although he was in hospice care meaning he had professional care daily but only for a limited time. Routine care was given, questions were answered and medications and equipment were provided. That took perhaps an hour’s time but what about the other 23 hours left in the day when she was the sole caregiver for his every need and nearly always alone?
Her determination was well stated in a remark she made about her confidence in providing whatever it took to provide for his constant needs. “I took care of him for 67 years, and I know that what time he has left, I can provide the loving care necessary.” And she did.
His last days were spent, not in a hospital-like setting, but in familiar surroundings, by sights he had known for the decades he had lived in his home. She was ever present, always ready to attend to his every need but his greatest assurance was that he was always aware that while he faced serious life-ending physical problems; still he knew the one undeniable thing that would help him to overcome any challenge he had to face: unconditional love from his dear wife along with his faith.
So by one definition this was one lucky man despite his overwhelming adversities. We all should be so lucky.
What a way to go!
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Bill Lee, PO Box 128,
Hamer, SC 29547
