Every so often, I feel it necessary to change the course or the routine way in how I present issues and stories in my weekly column.
Most of the time, I prefer tackling interesting, intriguing, and insightful issues to which most can relate.
When you endeavor to be prolific and have something new and different to write about each week (in order to avoid being repetitive and monotonous), sometimes there must be a change of venue (as I am doing today).
I want to present some real stories that transpired right here in our locale where people were caught red-handed in mischief. Most of these incidents contain a bit of humor and involve some real people whose names have been fictionalized.
The Escapades of
Walter Beauford
Though his real name has been omitted, Mr. Walter Beauford was a real-life person who was both a friend and employee of my father when I was growing up.
If there was ever a man who could get-over and would try almost anything to make a dollar, it was him. I can only share with you in my column today one of the many incidents in the life of Mr. Walter that will hopefully amuse and cause you to laugh.
My father had hired him to primarily drive for him to haul his construction crew to and from work. His second job was to be a common laborer providing and supplying the bricks and the mortar mix for the bricklayers.
One afternoon, after we had finished for the day and was heading back to Dillon from Marion County where we had been working, a highway patrolman suddenly appeared behind us flashing those lights that causes a fear to come on practically everyone whether they are guilty of a violation or not. We did not know why he had stopped us. Was it a tail-light that wasn’t working or was Mr. Walter speeding or swaying from one lane to the other? Or was it just a routine stop?
Before he could come to the driver’s window of the old truck, Mr. Walter quickly got out and met him. He fell on his knees in an act of submission and begged the white officer to not arrest him. He admitted to the patrolman what he had lied to my father about: He did not have a driver’s license because he had lost them due to repeatedly driving drunk.
Evidently, the patrolman was so surprised by his kneeling and act of obeisance that he did not arrest him on the spot. He told him to let somebody else who was in the truck and who had a driver’s license to drive us home. Mr. Walter came back to the truck winking his eye as though he had gotten over.
Nevertheless, all he had done was to make a complete fool of himself and embarrassed the rest of us who stood watching this black man lose his dignity and self-worth just to get out of a jam when he had been caught red-handed. The men who worked with my father would never respect him again for that humiliating act of cowardice and for sacrificing his self-esteem.
A Church Mother Who Was Caught Red-Handed
As a pastor and follower of Jesus Christ, it gives me no joy to write this section about a church mother who I had known very well every since I was a little boy growing up in Newtown.
This incident took place in the late seventies when she was in her twilight years and was employed by the main big box store in Dillon.
Being an attractive and affable elderly woman in her middle sixties, her supervisor, the store manager, and perhaps everyone liked her because she was just that type of person who had people skills. She had spent most of her adult life in New York City where she could share some very interesting stories of how she socialized with celebrities like Duke Ellington and quite a few others.
It was quite easy to believe (if you would see some of her photos as a young woman) that she was the kind of person who those celebrity-type loved hanging out with. However, she had migrated back to Dillon, given her life to Christ, and settled down and was serving in her church as a church mother. Then she was caught red-handed stealing some of the merchandise in the section where she was stationed.
When asked why in the world she had done this terrible thing, especially being a Christian and church mother, her candid response was, “I guess the devil made me do it.”
Though God forgave her and she lived a committed and productive life from that time forward, it took a little time for people (myself included) to forget when the church mother was caught red-handed and responded to why she had done it with, “I guess the devil made me do it.”
The Day They
Caught Dr. Boggie’s Hand in the Cookie Jar
Being new in town and a man who many of the young women admired, due to both his good looks and the way he could do the latest dances at the night club where they hung out, Dr. Boggie (his street name), was at one time very popular and sought out by some.
He was the ideal man to have at special events, like parties and gatherings where someone was needed to entertain the people, especially the young women with his dancing, charm, and good looks.
However, what most did not know about Dr. Boggie was that he had a dark side and secret that was about to be exposed.
It happened one evening at the same big box store that we mentioned in the previous section. Dr. Boggie was caught stealing red-handed by one of the workers.
When approached, he quickly dashed out of the entry and ran across the parking lot to the then wooded area on the other side of the highway with a few of the male workers in hot pursuit of him.
He finally gave up trying to elude them when his bowels broke loose, and his pants were full of feces. When the policeman arrived on the scene, they hand-cuffed him and put him in the backseat of their car (where he had to sit on newspaper). They drove him to jail with all the windows down in order to let the foul smell out.
Dr. Boggie went from being popular to being a person of ridicule and jokes.
He forfeited all that he had been given due to his dancing, good looks, and charm in an instant because he had been caught red-handed and messed on himself fleeing apprehension.
