News reports stated recently that when a high profile public official recently visited a neighboring country and one only mildly friendly to his policies, he was heartened by the “warm” welcome stating that when onlookers waved to him, they used all five fingers. Of course this was meant to call attention to those whose lone digit was used when they wished to show their rejection even contempt for the VIP visitor.
Dining recently, I heard a story related to this lone digital projection, but it was not intended to show disrespect as in the customary reading of such an action. This is her story.
Hoping to lose weight, painlessly, and after reading a newspaper ad professing near miracles in helping her achieve her goal, she, I’ll call her Rosie, with great anticipation made an appointment with an out of town “doctor” whose treatments guaranteed unlimited weight loss and with no sweating or uncomfortable, tiresome exercises. She had some doubts about such an impossible weight loss claim, but she was desperate; she had important personal reasons for losing the pounds – and fast – because there was an upcoming meeting with Mr. Right whom she greatly wanted to impress. Actually the professional was a doctor of sorts but not the holder of a Doctor of Medicine (MD) degree. But aside from that little technicality, Rosie was confident this was the answer to her immediate problem. After all, all she had to lose was weight or so she thought.
Even before she saw the doctor, she began to have some serious reservations about this visit. First, the office was in what she called a rather low-rent part of town and not meant to impress patients with its glitzy presence. Too, when she entered the office, there were no other patients waiting plus there was no receptionist (Reportedly she was out for the day with a sick child.) but rather the one who greeted her was – surprise! – the doctor himself. No red flags were raised by these rather unorthodox circumstances because Rosie needed help and the answer she believed lay behind the next door.
After a brief rather perfunctory examination which consisted mainly of information of the fee charged for the procedure that would guarantee the beginning of making her slim-down dream come true and soon. Rosie signed a consent form then turned in the insurance and other paper work and expectantly entered the procedure room.
The “secret” procedure was something new to her although she had heard about this somewhat revolutionary procedure; it was acupuncture. The doctor assured her that by (literally) pinpointing certain areas of the body, the punctures would “short circuit” the nerves which controlled metabolism thereby causing the person to lose weight, but he cautioned her that the procedure would need to be repeated a number of times depending on the desired weight loss.
Initially needles were applied and only a mild pain sensation was experienced until the doctor inserted a rather long one into her wrist area just below the palm of her hand. Immediately Rosie knew that something was happening that was entirely a new sensation and looking down at her hand, she knew it was not good.
There it was. The middle finger index finger whose controlling nerve had been stuck with the needle was now fixed permanently and in a rigidly pointed position. She could move the other fingers but, alas, this one would not obey a command to close. All it could do was to point upward and outward and this was not a good sign coming from Rosie, always a rather shy and nonassertive person.
The doctor assured her that this was only temporary and “soon” the nerve that caused the finger to be extended would once again relax and normalcy would be restored. In the meantime, the thought of losing weight vanished.
What to do? She could not be seen with a malfunctioned digit. The only solution she came up with was to wrap her hand in a loose bandage, telling friends that she had an unfortunate accident.
Contrary to the assurance given by the doctor, the finger did not relax as he said it would, but rather it remained in the permanently fixed position for nearly a month before relaxation resumed.
And about the weight loss? Actually she did lose a few pounds, but she attributed this to her acute embarrassment and the fear of losing many of her friends by their lack of understanding when she approached them with her index finger unbandaged.
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Bill Lee
PO Box 128
Hamer, SC 29547
