I have considered and contended with a thought that has given me some mixed emotions ever since my wife told me that I was more like my father than any of my brothers. At first, I took a little offense because her comparison of me to my father came during a time of dissent about an issue. However, as I gave some further thought to what she said, I came to accept and agree with her description of me (at least to some degree). In addition, this thought and realization gave me the idea for this column.
Whether we want to believe or accept it or not, each of us are becoming more like our parents with every passing day. To be perfectly honest, this process of like father, like son and like mother, like daughter started the minute of our conception and birth. As we grow older, certain similarities that we naturally contain that are like our parents are becoming more evident and expressive. Physical traits that were genetically conveyed to us at conception began to speak with undeniable accuracy that we are the offspring of our parents. Though we perhaps may like to believe that we are unique individuals and completely a one of a kind, divine design (which is true), there is no way to dispute the fact that each of us have, through genetic and environmental impartation, become like our parents.
Certainly, the most compelling proof that we are becoming our parents is in our physical features and stature. I have had folk to tell me that I remind them so much of my father, as well as a few to say that I look like my mother. If you are like me, every time I look in the mirror, I see my father looking back at me through my eyes and other facial features that bear a strong resemblance to him. Even as I am much like my father in appearance and arguably in personality and temperament, in many ways, I am more like my mother when it comes to people and human relations. My mother (ever since I can remember), as well as my father, have been encouragers and defenders of the weak and would go out of their way to help others.
I am becoming both of my parents in so many ways that it is uncannily amazing and somewhat wonderful. My daddy would smack (to our annoyance) while he ate. I am having to fight hard not to follow in his steps while eating around people. My mother (God bless her soul) never met a stranger and would often ask them many questions about who their people were in an endeavor to see if she knew them. Well, here I am many years later doing the same thing when I meet strangers. It is as if I can’t help it! Now, whether it is genetics or environmentally acquired, I do not know. However, I know that there is a lot of both of my parents merged in me and that is an expressive and undeniable fact. The same can be said about all of us. We are more like our parents than we would like to accept or realize. Things like our talk or how we walk often attest to the fact that we are offspring of our parents. Perhaps, not the spitting image in every case, but there are times when we both see and hear our parents in us through the way we do things: the way we smile, laugh, and even the way we sneeze. There are times when I let out a loud sneeze that reminds me so much of my father. His sneeze seemed to shake the house and scare the living daylights out of any one present, who was not familiar with his loud sneeze.
Each of us are in the circle of life that will bring us to a point (if we live long enough) to where we find ourselves becoming more and more like our parents. We will have flashbacks and fond memories of our parents when they were our age and how we have evolved over the years to be so much like them. We will laugh as we discover ourselves acting and doing certain things just like daddy and mama did. When people tell us that we remind them so much of our parents, it is a high compliment that brings a big smile upon our face. When we were children growing up under the tender loving care of our parents, we could not envision that one day we would be so much like them in our demeanor, the tone of our voice, as well as other similarities and characteristics. At the end of the day, for better or worse, we are becoming our parents.
